Internet dating itself is different from that in usual life, but dating a person from another country, with different life style, mentality,
culture is a lot more different and requires patience, understanding, flexibility and tolerance.
There may be various reasons why you are searching for a partner in CIS country, and why Russian women are looking for a husband
abroad. It could be classified as a combination of cultural, economic, political, personal factors in a great way influenced by mass
culture and mass media. Anyway in each case the reasons would be different and any standards can appear to be incorrect.
Based on our experience we would like to give some pieces of advice to those who started this endeavor and help them foresee the
factors and analyze risks they might have not considered from the start. Internet pages are full of sad and happy stories about
international marriages, and we wish your personal story and your life with your loving Russian wife to be happy.
The 1st thing you should do is to analyze your expectations. What you expect from a woman, your partner, a Russian woman in
particular. The main reason of unhappy marriages between western men and Russian women is the discrepancy of the Russian
women's expectations and desires and hopes of western men. It is not a secret that there is a widespread opinion among Russian
women that life abroad is easy and beautiful and all men are wealthy, kind and match the description of Mr. Right. In their turn men
tend to think that all Russian ladies are home bodies, dependent on husbands and live in extreme poverty, so that life in a developed
country will look a paradise for them. It would be hard to blame anyone for this as mass media and propaganda affect the opinions
and people seldom search for alternative information.
When you browse the catalogues the 1st thing that makes a great impression is an outstanding beauty of the women at pictures. The
truth is that they are beautiful for real. We have a certain policy that no photos are edited in order to improve a woman's appearance.
But you should also take into consideration that before photo session a woman puts make up and is dressed up to look her best. It is
hardly possible to look that glamorous in every day life. It is said not to diminish the beauty of Russian women as it is in fact
outstanding due to the great mix of nations and the inborn desire to attend herself and look good, but to help you not just focus on a
tempting appearance but also consider personal qualities of a lady. There are a lot of good looking and nice ladies in the catalogue that
may become the One for you, even though they do not have a model appearance. We often have questions from men how it is
possible that top ladies are still available and looking. Taking into account the number of letters they receive, they should have been
married already. The reason may be that they are pickier and have higher demands. So don't get caught in an endless loop of the
good looks only, search a person.
You should also take into account the age of a woman and the age of a partner she is looking for. We strongly advice ladies to
approach this issue thoughtfully. It would be strange if a 23 year -old lady would be looking for a 75-year old man. This is not a regular
thing either in this country or abroad. Even though a certain age difference is preferable for a Russian woman, it has to be reasonable.
You should also be aware why you are looking for a partner much younger then yourself and how this will affect your relationship in
future.
To have harmonious relationship you should pay attention to the gaps in education and a social status.
The place of living, a life style, interests and goals should be similar. It is not that common when a person from a megapolis would feel
comfortable in a rural town or village and vice a versa.
Language is one of the most important aspects. Not all Russian women know a foreign language when they start looking for a
western partner and get registered with the agency. The agency is of help at the initial stage. But when you develop the relationship
and have serious plans for future, it is important for the woman to start learning the language. She should be motivated herself as this
is the 1st barrier she will have to overcome to feel comfortable in the relationships and in the country she is going to move. That
would sound strange if your Russian partner is not eager to do it.
The most important thing is to realize in what extent the expectations of your Russian bride match yours. Many things like family
values, responsibilities, financial aspects, having children, woman's employment, in-laws, children should be discussed. We would try to
highlight some of them so that you have a better understanding of your Russian bride and can avoid the problems you might have.
Finances can be an issue your Russian bride and you may have different viewpoints about. In this country people are just learning to
take loans and tick expenses and in general they have serious attitude towards finances in everyday life. This is explained by the
political and economical changes we have experienced not so long ago. Russian people are not used to speaking much about loans,
expenses, bills, ets. That is why it may affect your Russian bride negatively when you speak a lot about this, emphasizing how
expensive life is. However you should discuss money issues and find out the attitude of your future partner to earning, spending,
saving, investments.
Even though the situation is changing in modern families the traditional approach is when spouses have the same bank account and
expenses are common. Your Russian bride would expect you to be the main provider in a family and support her and children
financially, at least in the beginning until she adapts in a foreign country and starts working. You should also take keep in mind that her
parents, who stay in her home country, may be retired and she will have to help them financially. And this will be your expense item
until she makes a living herself.
Family traditions, children and in-laws
Russian people are close to their parents and you should be ready that your Russian wife will want to communicate with her parents
on regular basis and help them financially. She will certainly want to visit home once in a while and have her parents come to visit you.
This should also be discussed so that you do not have misunderstanding in future. If some of you or both have children from the
previous marriages, you should talk in advance what status a child coming in your country will have and all the legal questions
connected with it. If your own children live with you or visit you, your future wife has to be informed about this, their attitude to your
marriage and what role she is expected to play in their lives. If you plan to have common children, the language (s) they should speak
the culture they should learn is also a common decision of international spouses.
Work and education in a foreign country It will be up to you and your Russian wife to decide about her employment when she moves
to your country. It is good to discuss this in advance as you may think your future wife will be an equal partner sharing all the
expenses and paying bills together when she adapts and finds work, whereas she might expect to become a housewife, bring up kids
and make a career of a wife. On the contrary you may want to have a dependant wife staying at home and providing a comfortable
atmosphere, but your Russian wife is looking for professional development and social life. Thus both of you will experience the conflict
of interests. You should know that when a Russian woman moves to your country, where educational standards and job requirements
are different she will most likely have to retrain or confirm her education to the standards there, take courses or enter a university to
get a good job and you will be the only one to help her both financially and emotionally. A Russian lawyer or doctor will hardly become
a lawyer in a western country soon. And a person having professional life here most likely will be looking forward to having it in her
current country. So the difficulties and expenses involved have to be well considered.
Information
Unfortunately your Russian bride is not well-informed about your country law system, banking, traditions, life style, citizenship, social
standards, ets. A great deal of help if you land a hand in obtaining the real information, speak about the legal status she and her
children will have when they come to live in your county, what rights and obligations she will have what she will have to learn. This will
help both of you develop trust relationship, make her understand more about the place she is going to live in and help take an
educated decision.
The general recommendation is to ask a Russian woman, you are planning to marry, more questions, try to come and visit her in her
home city, get acquainted with her parents and friends, see the environment she lives in, learn the things she is used to. Pay attention
to what she says about her family, if she feels comfortable in her home country. A person feeling unhappy about everything and
criticizing everything, will most likely be unhappy in any country with any partner.
We wish you luck in your search of your charming Russian bride and a happy family life. We hope these recommendations will help you
to avoid the reefs, you may not be aware of.
